Tannen stated that she observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with." I completely agree with her statement. Males, in my opinion, speak more sternly to try and prove themselves to other males. While females speak more calm and subtle to try to create a bond with other females.
Gender and Conversational Interaction (Oxford Studies
Women do not tend to want to get into conflict but tend to show understanding. These big differences bring them into conflict. A tannen explains, What he wanted conflicted with what she wanted. (40) Women and men are constantly clashing in opinions. Men are usually trying to be above each other which is something Tannen calls one-up. It is like men are always in competition with people around them. For example, in chapter 2, tannen explains why men dont ask for directions. She explains, The fact that you have the information, and the person you are speaking to doesnt, sends a metamessage of superiority. If reasons are inherently hierarchal, then the one who has more information is framed as higher up on the ladder, by virtue of being more knowledgeable and competent. This shows how men are always trying to be at the top of every.
In order to observe the. Deborah Tannen Analysis Essay. Ap English Tannen Essay section 1: Theory you just Dont Understand Women and Men in Conversation by deborah Tannen is basically an explanation on how women and men converse. Tannens main goal is to give advice to the different genders in order for them to avoid as much conflict as possible. Tannens main ideas are to explain how differently women and men react to each others way of being. Its like theyre in their own little world while living in the same slip big world. Men tend to try to dominate situations and tend to always want to be at the top.
Tannen provides specific observations of gender communication that portrays women as passive reactors in a conversation and men as the dominant aggressors. For example, tannen writes that men tend to lead the conversation while women tend to offer their opinions of agreement or disagreement. She also states that expertise does not guarantee a women center stage in a discussion as it would a man. Tannen ideas, i find that there are no parallels to my experiences and her observations. Frequently i am the one to initiate and hold a conversation, as well as provide my opinion even when i am uncertain about its validity. I notice myself making the group, which includes men, laugh story and therefore i establish myself in the conversation. In no way do tannens observations of language according to gender reflect upon my speech tendencies.
In general, tannen's findings appear questionable mainly because her approach when defining a "marked" individual seems limiting. For example, tannen would call a man wearing a shirt a marked individual. However, it is quite common for men in Scotland to wear skirts. Without ever considering these. Essay on Deborah Tannen. In Deborah Tannens essay ill Explain It to you: Lecturing and Listening, she asserts the belief that even though men and women speak the same structural language, their motivations for speech and conversational patterns are very different. In the earlier years of development, tannen observes that girls use speech to find confirmation and establish intimacy, whereas boys use speech to assert their independence and attain social status. After transitioning to adulthood, women find themselves bored and constantly nodding as men lecture them.
Communication: The key to a successful Relationship Essay
He also goes on to note that herself as the surveyor is male (Berger 5). This shows that when a woman is thinking about how she looks she is basing this upon how a male would view her. Almost as if society as a whole has set the standard for what a women should appear and act like in a given situation, tannen shows this same thing, just that she is the surveyor or society, and she is looking and judging how hairstyles. As she was doing this she unconsciously was only viewing the females in the group because essays their styles could be marked (. This marked women is only given to us by societys views, a sight different in the length of a womens skirt mal is the difference between a woman being marked as a conservative uptight person or a seductive, easy woman, which can sometimes be unintended. Tannen, women are more frequently considered marked beings in our society while men have fewer clothing or style options and are therefore free to remain unmarked.
Tannen argues that it is possible for men to remain purely "unmarked" her assertions do not hold up well in a changing world. Because the term "marked" is a social construction, it is not possible to remain completely unmarked, as styles and trends repeatedly change with different ages, generations, and geographic locations. In her study, tannen reveals that among four women and eight men present during a business meeting the women had several more features to observe compared to one another. However, tannen's conclusions seem partially invalid for her findings are based on only one particular event. In a business-like environment, it is more likely to find conservatively dressed men with less notable markings than women. Even though women may not only be identified based on their apparent style but also how they choose to present themselves. Tight clothes, make-up.
Who could question these noble American traditions? Yet today, these principles have been distorted. Without thinking, we have plunged headfirst into what I call the "argument culture.". The argument culture urges us to approach the world, and the people in it, in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polarized views. More and more, our public interactions have become like arguing with a spouse.
Conflict can't be avoided in our public lives any more than we can avoid conflict with people we love. One of the great strengths of our society is that we can express these conflicts openly. But just as spouses have to learn ways of settling their differences without inflicting real damage, so we, as a society, have to find constructive ways of resolving disputes and differences. The war on drugs, the war on cancer, the battle of the sexes, politicians' turf battles - in the argument culture, war metaphors pervade our talk and shape. In the essays There Is no unmarked Woman by deborah. Tannen and ways Of seeing by john Berger, the authors try to convey a similar point, but in two different contexts. Tannen describes a conference meeting and how she views others around her (. Berger on the other hand uses European oil paintings to show how only women are judged by the male eyes in society, unlike a man, a woman has two elements to her identity, the surveyor and the surveyed (Berger 5).
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Tannen we battle for top dog, strive to be the best, and to prove that we are right whether that means to criticize or manipulate words around in order for a feel of self-satisfaction. I find Rogers dealing with Breakdowns in Communication very educating and connecting to my own personal beliefs of how effective communicating should. He explains how our own natural tendency to judge, evaluate, to approve or disapprove another person or group creates a mutual interpersonal communication barrier. Our preconceived notions of people eliminate the desire to truly want to hear them out how or get to know them on a personal level. To solve the major barriers to communication we need to see the expressed ideas and attitude from another. 102 Tannen Article Essay. How to turn Debate into dialogue—dr. Listening to both sides.
Is it a good or poor analogy? I think its a good analogy because the author shows that there is other stuff in the world that men and women misunderstand. Also, men and women need to alternate their wrong behavior in other cases when the realize. You may also find These documents Helpful tannen Essay. Tannens Fighting for Our lives touches on how our culture is seen as an resume argument culture where there are two distinct sides to an argument seen as being either right or wrong, without a middle ground. The argument culture, tannen explains, urges us to approach the world in an adversarial frame of mind: the best way to approach any sort of idea, dialogue, or conversation is to set it up as a debate. This tactic does not solve any residing problems, by ignoring what the other person has to say and assuming your opinion is better than them is not going to resolve any the argument culture, criticism, attack, or opposition are the predominant if not the only.
about. After the anecdote was done she then started to explain in detail about how it is hard for men and women to talk to each other. Concerning the lack of proper communication between men and women, deborah Tannen states, Once the problem is understood, improvements come naturally. Is this statement substantiated or backed up with evidence? Yes, the statement is backed up by explaining how the college couple solved there difficulty by having the guy sit up instead of lying down and actually look at the women without being distracted and listen to her. Now every time she talks to him he realizes the women like to be looked at when talked to, he altered his behavior and did. Explain the analogy the author employs in the final paragraph.
What is the summary Thesis or claim of this essay? Where does Deborah Tannen most clearly articulate it? The Thesis or claim of this essay is that men and women misunderstand each other that cause problems in their relationship. Deborah Tannen most clearly articulates it when she gives the example of when a women in college was frustrated because every time she talked to her boyfriend, he would lie face down on the ground, closed eyes and arm around his face. This signaled to the women that he was taking a nap but really thats the only way he could listen to her without be distracted. Deborah Tannen begins her essay with an anecdote. Is this an effective way of opening this particular essay?
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Click here for more information about the book and animals where to buy. Watch a video of Deborah Tannen's talk based on the book here. A book about friendship that is also interested in the miscommunication that can so complicate. The language, in this book about language, is saturated with concepts that apply equally well to romance in its more traditional forms. The language, too, celebrates friendship in its frustrations and its rewards and, above all, its wonderful complexity. It is promoting friendship from a supporting character into a starring role. The loves that the linguist explores in her romantically named book are not merely ones that comfort and sustain women until, one day, the real thing comes along. They are the real thing.—.